How's the weather over there?

The New Car Blog: Part 1.5

2006-05-26T00:12:00.000-07:00

So awesome:

You: "Find nearest gas station."
Civic: "Audio off."

We're still getting to know each other.

The New Car Blog: Part One

2006-05-21T20:07:00.000-07:00

Okay, okay, so things have been somewhat slow here for a while. Your attention has been elsewhere with the immenence of previously mentioned plans.

Fortunately the first phase of your plan is now complete with the introduction of a new car.

It's a 2006 Honda Civic EX coupe with an automatic transmission and the GPS navigation package. You purchased it this past Tuesday and took delivery on Wednesday. Since then you've put close to 200 miles on it and still have half a tank of gas.

Those clever Japanese engineers.

This car is so much fun to drive its ridiculous. The Navi is voice activated and includes voice control of the audio system too. You still haven't learned all of the voice commands yet but there's just something about being able to ask your car to "Find the nearest vegetarian restaurant" and having it:

Find all vegetarian restaurants within a 25 mile radius

Ask you if you'd like it to plot the route to the nearest result

That's just cool.

More as it develops...you have to drive...somewhere... ;-P

Ever so quietly.

2006-04-26T02:00:00.000-07:00

So you slipped back in, quiet like a mouse, to the Bay Area tonight.

Food for thought: a girl told you this weekend that you're "like, a nerd, cause' you know about stuff but...trapped in a good-lookin' dudes' body."

Is that a compliment?

That's it. It's decided.

I don't want to live here anymore.

In the wind...

2006-04-20T01:12:00.000-07:00

You feel spontaneous, so you're going to Hawaii. Tomorrow.

Brilliant!!

In other news you just finished watching Primer and you really must remember to relax your brainus sweetheart, you're still sore from the thorough headfucking you just received.

Fucking predestination paradoxes.

You'll see them in a few.

Love,

dp

Yesss...just like that...oooh just a little slower now...

2006-04-18T01:07:00.000-07:00

You just realized something. There are no mirrors up in your house right now.

It occurs to you that this might almost could possibly be a bizarre outcry for help. Because this does truly seem to be some sort of perverse exercise in self-flagellation.

Dont fret, we like the way you look precious. Honestly...we think you're handsome.

It's all love baby.

[4/26 Update:] There are now WAY too many mirrors up. Who needs two seperate full-lengths back to back in the same hallway!?

Update: Who Are You?

2006-04-14T01:36:00.000-07:00

So Tila never responded.

*click* *click*

Deleted! You're not my friend anymore!!

For some odd and depraved reason you find that satisfyingly humorous.

What does that even mean?

Wait. What?

2006-04-14T01:18:00.000-07:00

So you come home tonight from what proved to be a most amazing night to...

...No Opportunity Wasted by Phil Keoghan. (Yes, the Amazing Race guy.) Waiting on your desk for you.

Thanks Dad.

"And what does that feel like precious?" they might ask.

Well, you imagine it feels exactly like what getting stepped directly on by god would feel like. It also feels like someone ripped out your throat and replaced it with a throat that doesn't work quite right.

You feel adjusted.

So SO money

2006-04-10T01:44:00.000-07:00

So you spoke to your mom about 2 hours ago via cell phone. She's in Hawaii visiting your family presently. All is well, she's doing awesome, your cousins and aunt are doing great and everyone seems pretty tipsy and pretty happy.

You told her about your intention to go to Mexico and cause trouble and she had but one piece of advice. And it is only this one piece would you have paid for. Via phone she says:

"Just beware the water and the women..."

A pregnant pause occurs...

"'Cause they both have disease." She says.

That is so fucking money you can hardly contain yourself.

We love you mom!

Who are you?

2006-04-10T01:34:00.000-07:00

What follows is an email you sent to "Tila" who sent you a "friend" request through myspace completely unsolicited.

None of the names have been changed in the spirit of protection. And sure as shit ain't no one innocent here. Otherwise, you would direct them to enjoy:

Hi Tila,

I added you as a "friend" because, well, it's 1:30 in the morning and I'm smashed. In other words, rational thought has been abandoned in lieu of reckless ambition and I'm pretty much down for anything right now.

That being said, who are you? You're 20 and female apparently, however that's not saying much and judging by the picture included in your profile you're pretty--which is good. But that still doesn't tell me anything...

...So who are you exactly?

For my own sanity you have until the end of this week, April 14th, to answer otherwise I'm removing you as a "friend." Because, well, that doesn't really mean anything in the "online" context anyway.

Kisses,

-- d5ki

You know, if she responds you'll be in trouble right? You were acting mischievous and didn't really...intend for...eh, whatever you're sure she'll understand.

An Open Letter to the Hydrologic Cycle

2006-04-03T23:45:00.000-07:00

Dearest Hydrologic Cycle,

We can fully understand and relate to the regular visits to the Bay Area. We like it too and we think its a nice place. However we are finding that more and more frequently the nature of your visits and their duration is a bit unwelcome considering that they are wholly unannounced and, to be perfectly honest, longer than they should be.

Now let us be clear. This is not to say that we don't understand the need for evaporation; and sublimation, condensation and advection. We like clouds. We like the funny shapes they make and we like laying in grassy fields with those special people on a sunny spring day and naming all of the things we see. Of course we can't these days, not with all of the attention we have been giving to you; but she'll understand.

It's just...it's just...the precipitation. Why all the precipitation? And why so much here precious? We truly love you. We do. And all of the work you do for us. We know it's a lot and we fully appreciate that without you we wouldn't be able to sustain life. But c'mon, this isn't Seattle for fuck's sake.

We're just exasperated that's all. And there is only so much we can take. You're really nice. And you smell good. And you can be funny sometimes. But really--we love you but we're not in love with you.

And we just think that...well...you know...all good things must come to an end. We've had a good run. We truly have. But it really is time for us to start seeing other people. It's for the best. You'll thank us. And months from now, when enough time has passed, and we see each other again we'll look back on this and laugh.

Really we will.

It's not you. It's us.

With love,

dp and his robotic ninja monkey army

PS. We are watching you. You are not safe here.

The Summer Solstice

2006-03-16T01:38:00.000-08:00

This is less for them and more for you. In the sense that putting it down on "paper" makes it more "real."

Things to accomplish before the Summer Solstice:

Find an apartment.

Buy a new car.

Details to follow...

Feel the math!

2006-03-15T02:26:00.000-08:00

Okay, here's a math joke for ya:

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

You still can't help but laugh your ass off after every time you think of that.

Oh yeah, and happy 22/7. Which was yesterday.

d/0, over and out.

A trip to the Phlebotomist.

2006-03-15T00:25:00.000-08:00

After re-reading that last post you noticed a behavioral pattern or trend over the last 24 hours.

You went to the lab to get blood work done this morning and all was well. Unless waking up earlier than usual after fasting for 12 hours and driving to a lab waiting room with 6 people who arrived before you constitutes "well." Perhaps that put you in a mood, perhaps not.

You made small talk with the phlebotomist. Asked her about her son who has a band and how that was going. She asked you what your plans were after your parents move back to Hawaii; you told her you were going to throw a party and she was welcome to attend.

Then the strangest thing happened; after she drew the blood and taped you up you told her that in all honesty you would probably be upset having your parents gone and all, then she proceeded to tell you that at least you'd have your brother here.

What?

You responded that "That would be true--if I had a brother. Which I don't." And she became somewhat flushed and responded, "You don't? I could swear...well...my son's and only child..." As you remember it she trailed off after that. Or maybe she kept talking. Either way...

Sheesh. Are you always this cranky?

They are instructed not to answer that.

This is a gas station for chrissake!

2006-03-15T00:01:00.000-08:00

So you had a couple interesting run-ins at the gas station this evening.

Your unspoken thoughts appear in italics. Event accounts edited for brevity.

Encounter the first:

A cute girl about 20 approaches...

Her: Excuse me, what kinda cologne do you wear?
You: Huh? Oh, I don't wear cologne.
Her: Never?
You: Nuh-uh. My natural smell is good enough.
Her: You sure?
You: ...
Her: *Blushing* Uh...well (at this point you tune her out because she's speaking salesese)...can I show you some samples?
You: No.
Her: While you pump gas?
You: Sure. (Wait wha? Pump? What did you just agree to?) *She runs off*
Her: This one is...(She said some shit you don't remember.)...can I put some on you?

...

So you let her--because she was cute--and then she asked you to buy some and...

You: No. I told you I don't wear cologne. But that was a good performance, if I wore cologne I would have bought some.

She leaves. Then this old drunk holding a gas can approaches.

Encounter the second:

Him: Can I have some gas?
You: No. I spent all my money.
Him: ...
Him: That's a nice car.
You: It's alright, it's kind of a piece of shit.
Him: What's wrong with it?
You: Well, it needs some body work. And, as you can see, some paint over here...and here.
Him: You don't see to many of these around. You see a lot of those...um...those...
You: El Caminos? Chevys?
Him: Yeah, you see a lot of those around these days.
You: Yeah, everybody has those these days.
Him: But you don't see to many of these around anymore.
You: *Pulls out keys* Well, I gotta to go to work now.
Him: These are probably collectors items now. They're kinda rare.
You: Yeah dude. Look, I gotta run, I gotta go to work now. Alright man.

Then you got in your car and left. It's a gas station for christ's sake!

What the fuck.

10,000

2006-03-06T22:43:00.000-08:00

It's been 10 months since you last mentioned your music library and that's exactly how long it took to get those last 1000 tracks. But you did it:

10004 songs, 27.4 days, 46.68 GB

Whew! Onward and upward, to 15k!

Huzzah!!

2006-03-05T17:31:00.000-08:00

Here's a tip: When you make Garlic and Tomato soup, PAY ATTENTION TO IT!

Don't, for example, watch a movie. Say...Just Like Heaven, and try to multi-task--because you'll forget. The end result? The soup reduces, since it over simmers, and ends up SO f@#!in' salty that you can actually feel your blood pressue spike while you eat it.

So...yeah. Just sayin' Just a quick tip. Not that that's what you did. Not like you had to add an extra 1.25 cups of water or anything. And especially not like adding the water actually saved the soup.

No no, just a quick tip. That's all.

Under Construction

2006-03-04T01:53:00.000-08:00

All,

We are currently working on the template for this site and following sometimes--most of the time, things won't look exactly the way we might like.

Please excuse the mess!! ;-P

Thanks,

The Management

Soft Spot

2006-03-03T01:38:00.000-08:00

You watched this tonight and enjoyed it. And you are man enough to admit it.

Just Like Heaven

Denny Crane.

Note to self.

2006-03-03T01:19:00.000-08:00

Fix this theme. Seriously. It makes you want to vomit...again.

Delicious!!

2006-03-03T00:53:00.000-08:00

So it's a bit late right now and you just finished making the most scrumptious; flavorful, delicious, and only you actually know how to from scratch, soup.

It's preparation and ingredients are simple; however, the final product has a flavor that is at once complex and yet delicate and robust. Kinda like you precious.

The soup itself can be broken into two steps: a simple broth, and one more ingredient.

Garlic and Tomato Soup

The Ingredients:

5 14oz cans of Vegetable Stock

1 Large head of Garlic

1 Tbsp. of Olive oil

.5 Tsp of Paprika

1 Sprig of Thyme

1 Sprig of Sage

3 Sprigs of Parslet

1 14oz. can Undrained Diced Tomatoes

The Preparation:

Tie the herbs together into a bouquet, we'll need these later.

Bring the Vegetable stock to a boil. Then reduce to low.

While thats happening, Mince the garlic.

In a large soup pot, saute the garlic over low heat in the olive oil until golden.

Add the stock to the garlic.

Drop in the herb bouquet and add the paprika; stir, bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer.

How long they simmer is up to them; you usually simmer for about 30 minutes. It depends on how strong they want the flavors to be.

When that's done the only thing left to do is add the diced tomatoes and simmer an additional 15-20 minutes.

Goes great with a fresh baugette or some bruchetta, croutons or crostini. A small spinach, feta, and apple salad or some pasta and they have a meal!

Bon Appétit!!

All credit for this recipe belongs to the Moosewood Collective. You're just too lazy to find the link right now. :-P

Brincos? Brilliant!!!

2006-02-21T20:06:00.000-08:00

I just couldn't help myself. An artist from Argentina has designed a set of cross trainers specifically with border crossers in mind. I particularly love the map on the insole, more after the jump.

Brincos via we make money not art

Rainy Days

2005-12-17T12:26:00.000-08:00

It's days like this when I miss you. Days when the sky darkens and the great grey swells let slip the tears of heaven.

Those unforgettable days; I remember them well.

I remember when we used to lay in your bed, next to the window which overlooked the corrugated roof of the back patio, and listen to the somber cadence of the raindrops below. The rythmic flow tireless yet calm.

And I remember the way in which you used to snuggle up next to me and giggle softly into my ear when I would inevitably say something designed only to make you smile.

I remember the way as we lay there, me on my back and you on your side, that you would nestle your head into that space just between my shoulder and neck and drift off to sleep, your warm breath softly caressing the nape of my neck.

And I remember; most of all, when we were there in your bed, warm and safe, happy and together, the way in which you would wake me up by softly kissing my face and shoulders. I remember opening my eyes and seeing you, always smiling, always happy to see me again.

Those unforgettable days; it is for them that I live.

Hay que sorpresa.

2005-11-30T22:27:00.000-08:00

Bruce Schneier is a noted security expert and the author of the definitive Applied Cryptography.

From his latest blog post:

"...Google keeps records of every search in a way that can be traceable to individuals...."

Uh-oh. We are seriously in trouble if the Government gets their hands on this.

Obviously we can just delete existing cookies and refuse to accept anymore from Google but how long have we been using it? How many searches for things we'd really like to keep to ourselves have we made?

Interesting Reading

2005-11-27T14:48:00.000-08:00

So it would appear that we were wrong in our thinking. We always thought that depression was at least affected by and perhaps in-part caused by a lack of serotonin in the synaptic gap. And that drugs such as setraline (Zoloft) a serotonin reuptake inhibitor...well...helped. Apparently this may not be the case at all, or at least there isn't any real evidence supporting this conclusion as stated in this guy's blog:

Modern Mental Health: ex juvantibus

Where he summarizes this journal article.

We especially like Dr. Murray's refutation of the ex juvantibus line of reasoning:

"...Or, if you are shy and when you drink alcohol, your shyness turns into extroversion, you must have an alcohol deficiency."

Motorsports!

2005-11-02T01:51:00.000-08:00

It should really come as no surprise to those who know you that you have taken a recent shining to all things motorsport.

A little background:

You recently took your father to the fabled Laguna Seca for the American Le Mans race held there. You know a thing or two about cars which you get from your father, and you thought that this might be something that the two of you could enjoy together, further strengthening your relationship. And it would seem that you were right.

Be all of that as it may you wanted to share an awesome quote from a column that you found in the most recent issue of "Racer" magazine; it is from a scene in "Days of Thunder" in which Robert Duvall's character is talking to the chassis of the car that he is building for the character played by Tom Cruise in which he says:

"I'm gonna give you an engine low to the ground. An extra big oil pan that'll cut the wind underneath ya. That'll give you an extra 30 to 40 more horsepower. I'm gonna give you a fuel line that'll hold an extra gallon of gas. I'm gonna shave half an inch off you and shape you like a bullet."

As the author of the column asks and you reiterate, "What does any of that mean?"

In truth it doesn't mean anything. It is complete and utter nonsense. It's rubbish. Which for some reason you find wholly entertaining and can't seem to stop laughing about.

Hooray Hollywood!

A Severe Lack of All Things Interesting

2005-10-27T23:56:00.000-07:00

It occurs to you that though you passed this meme along to others you never sourced it properly. Thus, without further adieu, this came from raevynmystique.

THIS IS THE NEW VERSION OF GETTING TO KNOW YOUR FRIENDS. YOU KNOW HOW THIS WORKS COPY & PASTE, ANSWER ALL THE QUESTIONS. SEND IT TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS

LETS BE HONEST NOW!

Last person who...

1. Slept in your bed: Your ex-girlfriend. Four years ago.
2. Saw you cry: Your dad, and he'll never tell anyone. Buah HA HA!
3. Made you cry: You.
4. You went to the movies with: StoneGrody. You went and saw Serenity.
5. You went to the mall with: Your Dad, you went to get some new--fuck your Yankee blue jeans!
6. One thing you could take back: There was that one time...at StoneGrody's house.

Have You Ever...

1. Said "I Love You" and meant it: Of course.
2. Gotten in a fight with your pet: Yes, and you have the scars to prove it.
3. Been to California: Once or twice.
4. Been to Mexico: Not yet…ask next year. Your crew has plans...
5. Been to China: No. But that would be cool.
6.Been to Canada: In time.
7. Been to Europe: Nope.
8. Danced naked: You ran around outside once--does that count??
9. Wish you were the opposite sex: Fuck no.

.........

1. Do you have a crush on someone: Is there a way you can answer this question without actually answering it?
2. What book are you reading now: Battle Royale
3. Worst feeling in the world: Hurting someone else. Especially when you’re consciously aware that you are doing it. (You agree with raevynmystique)
4. Future KIDS names: Shaniqua, DeAndre, Loquisha, and Hank. Ok, ok, in reality you are partial to 'm.' Mason/Maddox for a boy and Madison for a girl.
5. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: No.
6. What's under your bed: The floor.
7. Favorite sport to watch: Soccer, though motorsports are catching up with a fury.
8. Location: Kailua, Oahu, Hawai'i.
9. Piercings/Tattoos: No thanks.
10. Do you drink: Of course! And sometimes you breathe too!
11. What are you most scared of: Not finding something to make your life's work.
12. Where do you want to get married: As cliche as it is, in Hawai'i.
13. Who do you really hate: Actually you don't hate anyone. How strange.
14. Do you have a job: Yes.
15. Do you like being around people: Yes.
16. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: Nope.
17. Have you ever cried: Of course.
18. Are you lonely right now: Yes.
19. Song that's stuck in your head a lot: That fucking Dawson's Creek theme song. Fucking Dawson's Creek. Fuck Dawson and his fucking girl. And fuck his creek to god dammit.

Have you:

1. Been in love: Yes. Now move along honey, there's nothing to see here.
2. Played strip poker: Nope.
3. Gotten beaten up: When you were younger, yes.
4. Pulled an all nighter: Of course.
5. Been on radio/tv: Nope.
6. Been in a mosh-pit: Yeah, you went to a Korn/Rob Zombie concert with your ex-gf and some cunt pushed you in. She'll remember your fist though.
7. Do you have any gay/lesbian friends: Yup.

In the last 24 Hours have you...

1. Cried: Nope.
2. Bought something: A case of Monster this evening from Costco. Fucking Monster.
4. Sang: You sing random shit on a minute-to-minute basis so it's not really clear.
5. Been kissed: Does your Mom saying hello count?
6. Had sex: With someone else? No.
7. Felt stupid: Yup.
8. Talked to an ex: No.
9. Missed someone: No.
10. Hugged someone: No.

Whew! That was exhausting. But you got through it. We knew you could.

Passing the baton to: StoneGrody, catigerz, greel08, LaurenKaz, and whoever else feels so inclined and remembers how to log into their blog!

You really didn't intend for that last part to rhyme.

Over and out.

The Super Mario Party!

2005-10-25T02:26:00.000-07:00

Pics can be found here.

Joining the flock...

2005-10-21T17:03:00.000-07:00

You're trying out the new flock social browser. This post is you testing out the integrated blogging and flickr features.

Defying words...

2005-10-21T14:35:00.000-07:00

Picture 002
Originally uploaded by droo5ki.

This is so totally awesome. (via adnan)

24 Hours in Yosemite

2005-10-10T02:06:00.000-07:00

An excellent time was had by all. We were camped at Crane Flat, had decent weather, a HUGE fire and beer. What more could you ask for?

Pics here.

How do I configure my XP machine to automatically shutdown?

2005-10-05T21:27:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm glad you asked. A friend of mine recently asked me that exact question. He told me that he had scoured the face of the planet for some shareware apps to try and hadn't come up with anything satisfactory yet.

Thus he sicced me on it.

As it turns out, for those of you out there who weren't already aware, Windows has capabilites for this exact problem built in.

1. Create a new scheduled task using the windows task scheduler. Screen

2. Configure the appropriate command. In this case it's shutdown -s. Screen

3. Select the time you want it to run. Screen

And that's it! No more worrying about shutting off the computer at 3 am after a power session in Visual Studio...or eMule/bittorrent/whatever...

Those 5ive Weird Things...

2005-09-19T00:22:00.000-07:00

...about you, care of catigerz.

In no particular order and with no real explanation for any of it:

You sleep on the floor.

You're mostly right handed, but you eat left handed.

If you see a movie that moves you, a movie that is really really good, like Whalerider you can't bring yourself to watch it again for a long time.

You have pointy ears too. Kids used to call you "Spock" in elementary school.

You have an inferiority complex about your intelligence.

greel08, Bobby Drake, you're it.

All good things...

2005-09-13T01:20:00.000-07:00

I was going to write something moving. Something filled with purpose and majesty. Something that would have truly paid homage to my bird.

But nothing is coming to me. My bird fucking died today while I was at work.

Red Card

2005-09-11T13:54:00.000-07:00

You whole-heartedly feel that this is the sort of flagrant violation that gets one sent off the pitch. It's funny as hell though.

Evan Williams Whiskey Ad

You scanned it directly out of the latest issue of FHM and can't stop laughing at the statement made by it.

It's unpossible.

Katrina Dog Ears

2005-09-05T20:44:00.000-07:00

You are sure that they see the little dog ear in the upper right corner. They can click on it and it will take them to the Red Cross' website where they can donate.

If they want to put a dog ear on their site/blog they should go here.

That is all.

Fight The Flood!

2005-09-03T11:30:00.000-07:00

Do this now.

They should buy a t-shirt, $15 goes to the Red Cross, the Red Cross is working disaster relief and needs money. They'll feel better once they do.

You're sure of it.

You know there's a problem when...

2005-09-02T00:35:00.000-07:00

Your friend says your bedroom looks like:

1. "Louisiana"

or

2. "The final stunt on 'Fear Factor'."

Hilariosity ensued.

Top 5ives...

2005-09-01T23:28:00.000-07:00

You seem to be in a funk as far as blogging is concerned lately. You would really rather provide some sort of intellectual stimulation to those who choose to peruse you corner of the blogosphere but it doesn't seem to be coming to you. The inspiration just isn't there.

So instead you have chosen to fall back on an oldie but goodie...the top 5ives.

Thus:

Top 5ive Recent Links

1. Slacker Manager
2. Pocket Mod
3. Engadget
4. The Document Which was Formerly Called the MIT Guide to Lockpicking
5. The Pirate Bay

Top 5ive Recent Songs (According to iTunes)
1. Ask DNA, Yoko Kanno - "Cowboy Bebop"
2. Wish Me Well (You can go to hell), Bouncing Souls - "Hopeless Romantic"
3. Molly's Chambers, Kings of Leon - "Youth and Young Manhood"
4. Ka Uluwehi O Ke Kai, Hapa - "Collection"
5. She, Green Day - "Dookie"

That'll have to do for now.

Bobby, Grody, G Who IS, catigerz, LaurenKaz, greel08, Her Rosiness?

Anyone care to join in?

Good for a laugh

2005-08-21T01:01:00.000-07:00

Divert your course.

Typically American.

Back in the Bay

2005-08-17T01:27:00.000-07:00

I wish I could say its good to be back. Really though it isn't. I would rather be back home. And yet here I am, a little darker, a little calmer, and a lot more relaxed.

Tomorrow I have the day off which I will no doubt spend tending to things related to going back to work on Thursday. I plan on meeting up with Salim the Killer and probably Corey Himself to catch up. If Grody is available I hope to see him as well but there are only so many hours in the day and so so much to catch up on.

On a side note, I have been thinking a lot lately about getting a bit more serious about this blogging thing and actually trying to post less stream of consciousness bull shit and more thought out and polished writing. I've also been thinking about migrating to an actual hosted server with a real URL and everything! Would anyone else be interested? We could team up or something.

We'll see.

Breakfast of Champions.

2005-08-15T15:54:00.000-07:00

Breakfast of Champions.
Originally uploaded by droo5ki.

Wow.

2005-08-14T05:02:00.000-07:00

Independent Online Edition >Apple blunder gives Gates iPod royalty.

Holy shit.

Though it seems more likely the case of a company falling by the wayside, lacking innovative momentum, and flailing about in an attempt to bring down with it any other company in reach.

Bitches.

This is how the sun sets.

2005-08-14T04:20:00.000-07:00

This is how the sun sets.
Originally uploaded by droo5ki.

More new photos are available.

Don't Cry for me Argentina

2005-08-12T15:02:00.000-07:00

But this vacation kinda blows. You know what they're thinking, "WTF!? You're in Hawaii!" which is completely awesome in a penultimate things-to-do-before-we-die kind of way. But the truth of the matter is this: you're in Hawaii with your PARENTS.

There really isn't enough beer in the world for this.

And as awesome as the surroundings and local people are; you still feel completely trapped. You could rent a car and explore the island--if you had more money. You could go out and party with your cousins--if you had brought the proper attire and were into clubs (they're all girls), or you could go out with that "friend" you mentioned earlier, but you've had enough of biker bars.

So what does that leave?

Well, there are the beaches. And you have found a new love for all things sand, salt-water and bikini, but they are completely overrun by tourists. Half of which are Japanese and the other half of which are haole so you believe they see the problem there.

There is also your family, but aside from the cousins you mentioned before the rest are completely fucking useless. You call them to see what's going on and maybe set something up but they never, NEVER, call you back. What the fuck.

So what is really left is beer. Beer and books. Beer, books, and movies.

Your parents are going to the first event of your fathers three day high-school reunion this afternoon. They are dropping you off at your aunts' house in Pearl City. She is baby-sitting your cousin's children. All four of them. She does have cable and a DVD player however.

Good thing you started drinking an hour ago.

1220 Local time

PS. Pics coming real soon.

Mac Zoom Trick ( & shameless mac plug.)

2005-08-09T04:28:00.000-07:00

Taking advantage of a Quartz effect for a better online video experience (among other things).

This works wonderfully. If you don't have one you should definitely go out and by a mac for this reason alone.

read more | digg story

Dammit.

2005-08-08T16:28:00.000-07:00

So you just got off the phone with your friend and he found your phone. At first you were relieved but now you're kinda-sorta disappointed since you don't *have* to buy a phone anymore.

It's so much better when you don't have to justify an expense. So now you'll just have to come up with one.

From the beach,

dp

I never liked it anyway...

2005-08-08T14:35:00.000-07:00

So you went out with a friend a couple nights ago, he took you over to his friends house to meet a few people and then to his house in Halawa to check out his place.

A few beers were had and then it was on to a dive biker bar in Kailua called "The Creekside." Drunkeness ensued.

When you woke up the next morning you weren't able to find your cellphone.

You still haven't found it.

So you suspended the line until you can buy a new handset when you get back. (Any suggestions?)

Oh well, you never liked that phone anyway.

Hell hath no fury...

2005-08-02T13:37:00.000-07:00

...like catching a cold on vacation.

You're currently in the room you and your parents are renting for the duration of your stay in Hawaii. You were watching Star Trek:TNG and getting kind of bored so you plugged in your latptop to recharge it. On the off-hand chance there might be an 802.11 network in the area you turned on your wireless card.

Lo and behold, we have internet!

You're now plugged back into the matrix. Hopefully the shakes with stop.

Out.

dp

This is so very fucking awesome!

2005-07-26T02:57:00.000-07:00

Postage Paid Envelope Revenge!

via digg

Confounded.

2005-07-14T03:05:00.000-07:00

How many times do you need to quit before you actually quit?

As an aside, in case they are interested, you have physical therapy tomorrow for the tendonitis in your wrist. Which explains the lack of online IM presence and posts here.

You couldn't put it better yourself

2005-07-13T18:48:00.000-07:00

ribbon-based-economy

What does chortle mean daddy?

2005-07-07T01:04:00.000-07:00

You were just chortling to yourself about your complete lack of memory. You were just remembering how your insufferable case of CRS led you to purchase a PDA. You were just thinking that it was hilarious that the problem now is that you never remember to use it to record what it is you want to remember.

Now that is how anaphora works. Life is wonderful,

Diesel Power

WTF!?

2005-07-05T01:47:00.000-07:00

Some punk bitch just egged my house. I am fucking furious. I don't even understand what possesses people to do shit like this.

Slower, please.

2005-07-04T04:45:00.000-07:00

You have come to the realization that you need to find a girlfriend and settle down. Recent events have shown you this. Your behavior of late is indicative of a larger problem and that problem is a lack of female companionship. That and the fact that inevitably you will get older and if you don't find someone soon you may end up alone.

Hyperbole is a good word.

Though this post is more accurately hyperbolical hyperbole.

Whatever.

Blogcism.

2005-06-25T01:49:00.000-07:00

This will be a short post.

You only want to highlight how ridiculously stupid it is that you can't post comments on a xanga site.

greel08 this is directed directly at you. (Wait, is that anaphora?)

Ooooh anaphora. We love it.

Touch it bitches. I'm crawling back under my rock. Fuck you.

He who is...

The dp

Be careful when you stroke it...

2005-06-20T01:43:00.000-07:00

...you never know when you'll blow out your wrist.

Not that you actually did blow out your wrist. At least not doing that anyway. They can rest safely assured that it still works for that.

Your wrist is a complete fucking mess however and its kind of hard to believe that you "must've slept on it wrong" for a week and a half. So you gave in and bought a wrist support today and have an appointment to see your doctor tomorrow. You have a nagging suspicion that this is either a repetitive stress injury or tendonitis.

UPDATE: It's tendonitis. Your doctor said so.

You're too young for this shit.

But we still love you dp.

The First Week of the Rest of Your Life.

2005-06-16T01:59:00.000-07:00

You're watching season one of Magnum P.I. on DVD. Could it get any stranger?

Make firefox your bitch...

2005-06-09T02:40:00.000-07:00

In case they have a fast machine, a broadband internet connection and didn't already know:

1. Type about:config into the url bar
2. Set network.http.pipelining and network.http.proxy.pipelining to true.
3. Set network.http.pipelining.maxrequests to something like 30.
4. Create nglayout.initialpaint.delay and set it to 0

That's it. Now firefox is not only the world's best browser but it renders pages like a crackhead running from the police.

If they a) don't know how to change these settings or b) don't know what the hell any of this is about, then they should just ignore this post.

Bobby's a pimp...

2005-06-08T02:28:00.000-07:00

Bumbaclot!

Recently on IM...

2005-06-07T20:55:00.000-07:00

The funniest IM conversation you've had in a long long time.

Eric: You're gay... I'm going to take a shit
You: fuck off boner
Eric:

Eric sent you a wink which requires the latest version of MSN Messenger. To download the latest version of MSN Messenger, go to http://g.msn.com/5meen_us/122.

You: wtf is a wink? queer.
Eric: 8====>(R)<====8
You: enjoy your shit. im gonna go make hash browns.

You're still laughing.

The Lasts...

2005-06-07T03:05:00.000-07:00

What was the last...

Movie you watched?
Pitch Black. Quite underwhelming.
Thing you ate?
Miso soup and rice.
Time you were hung over?
Last Sunday morning. God how you wish that wasn't a standard Question/Answer
T.V. show you watched?
Chapelle's Show. (Thanks StoneGrody!)

When was the last time you...

Wanted to punch G. Dubya?
What time is it?
Were inspired?
It's finals week bitch, you're not familiar with inspiration. Just recitation.
Felt infatuated with something?
Today.
Got your heart broken?
Its hard to get your heart broken when you dont have one to break. Okay that was stupid. Lets see, it was about 3 and a half years ago. Your ex-girlfriend of four years decided that she had had enough of you. That was Christmas eve '02.
Had coffee?
Yesterday evening. About 8 hours ago.
Read a book?
This morning, your Abstract Algebra book.
Had a cigarette?
Half an hour ago.
Had a romantic kiss?
You'll have to ask her and get back to them on that.
Had a crush on someone?
Today. This girl Her Rosiness told you about. She *is* fuckin hot!

Bobby!? Wassup biaaatch!? What you got?

More 5ives...

2005-06-07T02:55:00.000-07:00

As seen earlier on...

Top 5ive Female Fetishes

1. Glasses- I don't know, there's just something about that look. Its the studious look, it might have something to do with number...

2. Brains- Come on, this should go without saying, but when I talk to some girl and the conversation consists of me saying something clever and her responding huh? 'Nuff said.

3. Beanies- Handsome knows whats up. So cute. Dood, I love girls in beanies.

4. No Makeup- Not none at all, just not all the time. Its just a thing. I dont have any reason for this. Just my preference.

5. Spunk- I dont know how else to put it. I like it when a girl talks some shit. I mean within reason right? I like a little fire, a little you know...shiaat

Top 5ive Reasons I Always Look Mad
1. I haven't gotten any in 372 days. [as of 1/9/04]

2. I'm broke.

3. Because I'm a bitter cynic fed up with the way thing are.

4. Its an alergic reaction to the disproportional amount of stupidity I find myself surrounded by.

5. Because I dig her but she doesn't dig me.

Ooooh droo5ki, give it to um.

Tag! You're it Bobby.

You're so judgemental...

2005-06-07T02:31:00.000-07:00

Note to self:

Stress + You = Pimples

Pimples - Stress = Consumption

So while you're dealing with it all, if you get a chance, please listen to and review these albums for addition to/exclusion from the collection:

The Woods, by Sleater-Kinney

Get Behind Me Satan from The White Stripes

One Word Extinguisher from Prefuse 73

and finally,

Surrounded By Silence, also from Prefuse 73.

Stop buying shit.

That is all. Please return to your previous activities.

dp

Murderball?

2005-06-06T19:23:00.000-07:00

Yes.
We must all see this movie.

Kids, when you buy a bootleg DVD...

2005-06-01T19:11:00.000-07:00

...you may be supporting people who might sympathize with a terrorist group that hasn't actually attacked us.

What the fuck is that? Come on bitches.

More 5ives...

2005-05-31T01:40:00.000-07:00

Top 5ive Daily Websites
1. Google - Uhh...Duh.
2. TorrentSpy - You visit this site because it is one of the primary sites for new torrent releases. They update daily and include information regarding the current number of seeders and leechers.
3. del.icio.us/popular - It's nice to know what other people find interesting. Lots and lots of people finding the same thing interesting makes you want to check it out too. You hate being left out. ;-P
4. isoHunt - More torrent goodness.
5. Preshrunk - If they are into T-Shirts at all like you are they will love this site. For sure.

BOOM!

Bobby. You're it.

Whut up Cousin!

2005-05-30T01:39:00.000-07:00

You were hanging out at the house that you are sitting tonight, watching a movie and you were getting thirsty. So you walked down the block to the liquor store by your house for some refreshment.

You were standing in line when a couple thuggish gang-stars found their way into the store. One was on a cellphone and the other wandered over to the slurpee machine mumbling "Its a celebration bitches...gimme a muthafuckin slurpee! A muthafuckin slurpee nigga!"

You chuckled. Dave Chappelle is fuckin funny.

The two thugs made the shop their own, walking behind the counter to inspect the condom rack. However, given your experience with these types and the fact that you have spent what is probably far to long in the rough areas of Oakland, you have picked up a few things. You know better than to be confrontational with two of them. If it was just one maybe. But not in groups. Yet you also know better than to avoid eye contact. That is a sign of fear. And they can smell fear. You make eye contact. You watch them. But that's it.

The guy in line ahead of you was at the register taking fucking for-ever buying ice, a liter of coke and some fucking chicken-cheese-jalapeno wrap fucking things out of the warmer. The two thuggish got in line behind you and the slurpee thug set his shit down on the counter.

It was finally your turn and you handed the guy working the register your forty. You heard one of the guys behind you say "Oh shit nigga! Cousins bout ta get his drank on nigga! Cousin's buyin a forty!"

You smiled, and slowly turned around. Making eye contact with the guy you let slip from your lips four words that would change the tone of the entire encounter.

"It's a celebration...Bitches!" you said.

And he fucking lost it.

He was laughing so hard you couldn't help but laugh too. You said "Aiight dog."

To which he responded "Aiight Cousin!"

Top 5ives...

2005-05-30T01:18:00.000-07:00

Ooooh...yeah. The return of the top 5ives. This is a meme project that you and Bobby Drake started and never really kept up with back in the older times.

Essentially just lists. Lists of 5 things. The top 5 things in some area of reality.

They should feel free to contribute on their own sites. If they do you'd appreciate if they'd link back or leave a note in the comments.

Top 5ive Favorite Songs at This Very Moment...

Girl - Beck - Guero

I'm Just Raw - Lyrics Born - Same Shit, Different Day

Banquet - Bloc Party - Silent Alarm

Helicopter - Bloc Party - Silent Alarm

The Corner - Common - Be

Get it?

Love,

d

Bobby Drake's top 5ive

It's like a disease...

2005-05-28T12:13:00.000-07:00

Your music collection hit 9000 tracks this morning. You're now only 1000 tracks away from a lofty, daydreamy, completely unstated goal of having 10000 songs.

You just keep building, keep adding, keep listening. It's sick.

The current state of affairs:

9000 songs, 24.5 days, 43.52 GB

The latest additions:

The Further Adventures of Lord Quas, by Quasimoto
and
Awfully Deep, by Roots Manuva.

You should take something or see somebody about this.

You're becoming responsible.

2005-05-26T01:58:00.000-07:00

Let's not let this become a habit okay?

In any event, your father volunteered you to housesit for a neighbor couple. You went over to their house today and they fell in love with you. YOU are housesitting for them. It has been decided. They gave you a key. You are the one.

The best part of the whole deal? Your parents are religious conservatives, and you love irony. So? Well, you are irreligious and would consider yourself a socialist liberal. And? Well...they're a same-sex couple.

This is so, SO fucking awesome.

In love with the way life works,

dp

Worth buying...

2005-05-24T01:36:00.000-07:00

Three albums that fucking rock and are on heavy rotation currently:

Be, the newest album from Common. You remember when this guy called himself Common Sense. With Kanye producing the beats Common seems to have resurrected his original lyrical style after the disappointment that was Electric Circus.

Mezmerize, System of a Down's newest offering. What can you say? Political, angry, melodic, metallic, hard, et cetera. Buy this album.

Silent Alarm, from Bloc Party. These guys are awesome. They remind you of Refused, your favorite band of all time.

And finally Everything Ecstatic from Four Tet. This album is essentially dirty, grimy, cut up, electronica/hip hop a la prefuse 73. Definetly worth checking out.

When they get a chance they should try and at least give these records a listen. They won't be disappointed. They have but to ask and you would be more than happy to let them partake.

Over and out,

dp

Suck it dry.

2005-05-22T21:35:00.000-07:00

You were just about to post a comment on greel08's blog but unfortunately you have to be a follower of all things xanga to do so.

You think thats fucking weak. Very fucking weak. And stupid. Fucking necromongers.

In any event you wanted only to let greel08 know that you have come across a copy of Kinsey and he is more than welcome to it if he is interested.

That is all.

The Musical Baton.

2005-05-21T02:18:00.000-07:00

You know what, like 3 other people that blog? So rather than get passed the musical baton you snuck up on an unsuspecting, slow moving blogoton and stole the fucker.

Thus, without further adieu, the musical baton:

Total Volume Of Music On Your Computer:

42.97 GB

The Last CD You Purchased Was:

Dillinja - My Sound

Song Playing Right Now:

There were many a drunken and lonely night both in California and elsewhere listening to this album and wondering why you keep picking such winners to date. Of all the tracks on the album however, the one currently playing is Chunga's Revenge.

Five Songs You've Been Listening To Alot Recently:

Holy Calamity, Handsome Boy Modeling School

Winners and Losers, Social Distortion

Wish Me Well (You can go to hell), Bouncing Souls

Pure Morning, Placebo

Nothing Owed, Bonobo

Five People To Whom You Are Passing The Baton:

StoneGrody

greel08

her rosiness

Bobby Drake

The astute reader will notice that that was only 4 people and the astute reader should fuck off. You only know four people who have blogs anyway.

Over and out,

dp

Quickly, and with stealth.

2005-05-19T02:34:00.000-07:00

It's currently you're fucked-30 in the AM and you just finished a paper for your History of Math class.

Yes. They read that right, History of Math.

Why the fuck is a paper necessary in a math class? They might wonder. And why the fuck is a paper due in a senior level math class? They might be thinking.

And why is this fucking class even a senior level class? Is what you're wondering. The pre-requisites mentioned the calculus series as you recall and ironically enough your professor chose to completely skip the developement of "The" calculus as a part of the curriculum.

In your humble opinion, any entering freshman should be capable of taking and passing this class. Assuming of course that this particular freshman knows a thing or two about math, which is actually asking quite a lot given the current state of the educational system in this state. Because honestly, they should know a thing or two about formal logic, geometry, algebra, maybe some differential calculus, and...perhaps some combinatorics.

Of course, you rarely go to this class anyway. What the fuck do you know?

So instead of studying and learning mathematics, you get to write a fucking paper about a mathematical development of some kind. Doesn't matter what kind or when. There really isn't any direction other than not to plagerize.

Fucking great.

And what did you choose precious?

You decided to write about Newton's estimation of pi(you're too lazy to look up the unicode for pi right now). Which is actually simple; really. As long as they understand the general binomial theorem, some integral calculus and a sprinkle of elementary algebra. Which you do...

However they might not. So you are thinking you should probably explain it when reality kicks you in the face and reminds you that its just you and probably 10 other people on the planet who care about shit like this.

So fuck it. Fuck you, fuck them, fuck their god, fuck you please, fuck fuck fuck. Its not just fun to say, its actually fun to type. You need sleep.

Making babies cry,

dp

WTF are you doing awake!?

2005-05-17T02:48:00.000-07:00

You have no idea. So you think it might be a fun to write about some things that you've been thinking about recently.

Why do you hold people at arms length sweetie?

You wish you had an answer to that question. You have trust issues you presume. You meet lots and lots of people, despite your better judgment, and more often than not they want to spend more time with you. You have no clue why for as many times as people have told you that you are sweet, twice as many times they have told you that you are a fucking asshole. Which is funny and ironic since they bitch if they can't spend time with you or don't get enough time with you to satiate themselves. You think they like that you're an asshole. Part of you thinks that they wish they could be as hyper-analytical and condescending as you, little do they realize that you are slightly autistic, and the other part doesn't give a fuck. Perhaps that's why you hold them at arms length. You don't want them to get too close since you'll inevitably hurt them and you'd like to control the extent to which they can hurt you.

Okay fine, you didn't really answer my question dick. But we'll move on. Why are you so angry?

Angry!? You wonder if they know you at all. Since you live at home with your parents and have been a momma's boy for fuckin-ever. You have problems with your Mom. Its funny, you're just like her. To a fault. You argue with her on a daily basis, and big time too. Like knock-down, drag-out, fuck-you-and-your donkey riding sherpa-type arguments. They might not be able to relate so you offer this example: Imagine you are in an argument. With yourself. How do you win? You don't. And how does that make you feel?

Now multiply that by "infinity of times" and you start to get the picture.

Oh. Okay, I understand now. Sorry. Well why are you so aloof?

You are at a loss and wonder what they mean by aloof.

Aloof, asswart. As in "distant physically or emotionally; reserved and remote." (thanks answers.com!)

Ahh...yes. You see now. You have no idea. You never really noticed until recently that this was the situation. You believe that it has a lot to do with your trust issues and the fact that you have been hurt. Repeatedly. By both sexes and for all kinds of reasons. You are aloof because that is what keeps you safe.

Strangely enough.

You wear your heart on your sleeve. If you don't like someone it will be apparent. If you do the same is true. Yet you are quite discerning. There are two types of people which you are friends with. There are those who are at your side regardless of the circumstances. And there are those who you walked away from yet were there when you needed them (Adtron and The Supreme S), and they you will never forget. Never. Regardless the directions your lives might take you, you will not ever let them out of your sight. You love them. You think of them the same way you think of your parents. You would never let harm befall them, and would rather lay yourself on the line than let them take the fall.

Thats why you hold people at an arms length and are aloof. You can't give this much of yourself to just anyone. Hell, you can't give this much of yourself to more than a few choice people. You are always ready to choose. There just never seems to be the right choices.

You need a significant other.
You need to move out.
You need money.
You need love.

One.

dp

model t back

2005-05-17T01:28:00.001-07:00

model t back
Originally uploaded by droo5ki.

And here it is from the back.

model t front

2005-05-17T01:28:00.000-07:00

model t front
Originally uploaded by droo5ki.

And here it is. This is what all the fuss was about down in LA-LA.

Your Senior Year of High School

2005-05-16T00:09:00.000-07:00

Via the Stone that is Grody.

1. What School did you attend? Moreau Catholic High School, Hayward CA

2. What year was it? 1998

3. What were your favorite band(s) or artist(s)? Pharcyde, The Beatnuts, Mobb Deep, Nirvana, Op Ivy, anything punkish

4. What was your favorite outfit? It was a Catholic school so I had to wear khaki's and collared shirts so much it became my favorite.

5. What was up with your hair? Short, slick, combed forward.

6. Who was your best friend(s)? This guy named peter. It was one-sided and fell apart. Like all things.

7. What did you do after school? Smoked, tagged, drank.

8. Where did you work? Bechtel Engineering Corp.

9. Did you take the bus? Yes. And BART. I had to get up at 5 in the fucking morning. It was weak. That is how I met my xgf of four years though. So it wasn't all bad.

10. Who did you have a crush on? Ooh. Tough. I can't really remember specifically. There were several though. I'd have to look them up in a yearbook.

11. Did you have a girlfriend/boyfriend and who? Freshman year, this girl named Margo. It lasted about a month. I didn't even touch her. Then there was V. She had huge breasts. They must've been like DD's. We messed around but I didn't...well...you know. Then Senior year there was this girl Crystal, and damn. That's all I can really say. She liked the rough stuff.

12. Did you fight with your parents? Fuck yes. And I still do.

13. Did you ever get detention? I had 53 unserved hours when I graduated.

14. Favorite Subject? Bible as literature.

15. What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? That question doesn't make sense.

16. Who did you have a CELEBRITY crush on? No one.

17. Did you smoke cigarettes? Fuck yes.

18. Did you lug all your books around in your backpack? No, I had a locker for that.

19. Best event ever? Graduation.

20. Did you have a 'clique'? I'd say no, but I hung out with the kids that didn't have a clique. So I guess we kinda formed a clique.

21. Where was your Senior Prom at? San Francisco. I can't remember the name of the place.

22. Did you have a "The Max" like Zach, Kelly and Slater? Yeah, up the street from the school where we all hung out, smoked and drank.

23. Admit it, were you popular? No. But years later I came to find out that my friends and I were considered the "bad" kids and people were actually scared to fuck with us.

24. Who did you want to be just like? Someone that had already graduated high school.

25. What did you want to be when you grew up? An aeronautical engineer.

26. Where did you think you'd be at the age you are now? Married and designing aircraft.

27. What was the color of your yearbook? Purple.

28. What were the colors of your school? Green and gold.

29. What was your school mascot? Mariners.

30. What do you predict you will look like at your 10 year reunion? Like this but 3 years older.

31. Did you have a pager or a cell phone? No.

Sneak attack. (Long post warning)

2005-05-15T22:21:00.000-07:00

You're back!

And what a trip that was wasn't it? Arduous seems an appropriate word. Where did you go again exactly? Oh yeah that's right you went to LA. You stayed in Palmdale and went to Orange to pick up a new car for your father.

First though, you want to run through some quick stats:

There: ~400 Miles, Time: 7 hours, # of Stops: 1, Avg. speed: 57 mph.

Back again: 378.6 Miles, Time: 7 hours, # of Stops: 1, # of cars being towed: 1, Avg. Speed: 53 mph

Total milage: 968.5

Okay, now that we've taken care of that, how did it go?

Well, your Dad wanted to leave and 4 in the AM Saturday morning. Anyone that knows you knows that that is an indecent proposal and thus you didn't even bother sleeping. You went over to Corey's, drank some Guinness and Newcastle went home, packed your shit, took a shower and by that time it was 4 in the AM so...off you went.

You got to Palmdale at around 11 since your Dad missed a turn while you were sleeping and you had to go behind god's back to get there. Which you were able to do thanks to your crazy navigational skills. You arrived at Fred and Nancy's house and hung out for a bit.

They have the biggest house you have ever been in. You have no idea of the square footage but suffice it to say that you and your Dad each got your own rooms, and their master bedroom is about half the size of your entire house. One of the coolest things about the house though, in your humble and nerdified opinion, is that all of the ceiling fan/light thingys are remotely controlled and have temperature sensors so you can set a room temperature it'll keep. So so cool.

So you guys hung out for awhile, got a cool drink, and headed out. First for grub. You went to a place called Crazy Otto's (such the fucking awesome name! +10 strength) and wanted breakfast only to be disappointed that they weren't serving breakfast at noon. Minus 20 charisma. You ordered fish and chips, which were really good actually. Nancy and Fred said they wanted to set you up with a girl they knew. A lieutenant in the air force. You said "Hell yes!"

Back to the house for a minute to drop off Nancy and find out if the guy who had the car your Dad wanted was ready to make the exchange. He was. So you were off.

The guy lives in Orange. You were in Palmdale. Apparently no one in your party new how to get to Orange. Unfortunately you didn't learn this until 2 hours into the journey. You stopped at a gas station in San Dimas (Bill and Ted. Fuck yeah!) to ask "Where the fuck are we?" They answered and you were back on the road. You arrived at the guys house at like 5pm and picked up the car.

Getting back took about 2 hours thanks to traffic and the fucking idiots "Hey take this alternate route its faster!" route. You had to stop at Sears to get Nancy a new lawnmower too.

Finally around 9 you get back to the house. Nancy is the fucking shit and made the bestest dinner you've had in quite awhile. Sauted shrimp, blackened salmon, spinach salad, rice, bread and strawberry cheesecake for desert. So good. After that you watched a movie (US Marshals). Ian and Lori came over to play cards. You were too tired so you went to bed.

Bobby Drake called at 8 the next morning. It woke you up. Without actually looking at who was calling, you picked up your phone and chucked it across the room. Stupid phone. You woke up 2 hours later. Eggs, Croissant, and Coffee awaited you downstairs. So awesome. Nancy invited you to go on a 10-mile hike into the Grand Canyon. For some reason you agreed. We're still trying to figure out what you were thinking on that one bro.

Your Dad and Fred went to pickup a trailer for the car. You took a shower and hung out with Nancy. They got back at about 1 and you started packing your shit. You and your Dad said your thank you's and goodbye's and hit the road at around 2.

You stopped at 5 in some town somewhere and ate at Mc'Donalds. Which was fucking putrid. The rest is history.

And here you are. Welcome back.

And I'm out.

2005-05-14T03:46:00.000-07:00

So you're outta here. You're gonna go down to LA-LA for a minute. But of course you'll be back. In fact, you'll miss the drama. But not that much.

Love you guys,

Oooh! dp, we love you, come back baby!

Don't even trip.

I'll be back.

dp

Pick two.

2005-05-12T02:10:00.000-07:00

So you are feeling in a sit-alone-in-a-dark-room-with-popcorn kinda mood and are thinking you are gonna take in a flick or two this weekend. You aren't sure what you'll see yet and thought you might ask them.

Thus, pick two. If we go out:

Crash

Unleashed

Kung Fu Hustle

Kicking and Screaming

Unless we stay home, then:

House of Flying Daggers

Hotel Rwanda

The 5 Obstructions

Bad Education

So what will it be love?

PS. You miss her caress. You struggle to understand why. You would give anything for companionship. And yet you'd rather go through things alone.

We dont understand you precious.

You're going to hell.

2005-05-11T17:37:00.000-07:00

Who's coming with you?

You are about one click away from buying one of these.

Oi vey.

Well Hello there Sarah...

2005-05-11T02:06:00.000-07:00

So you hung out with S boogie tonight. The two of you got some coffee and chilled out. Caught up on news and what not. You didn't realize until you hung out with her how much you missed her.

Sarah is cool beans dood. Yay Sarah! Welcome back, we missed you.

See you Thursday.

dp

Remembering the past...

2005-05-10T01:09:00.000-07:00

You remember when...

This was just in.

And you got this.

When you wrote this and how nothing ever came of it.

However you'd rather forget when this happened.

Love you.

dp

It's like a drug...

2005-05-10T00:55:00.000-07:00

You have been at a computer for more time today than you have spent doing anything else. You sat at your computer less-than-happily plodding away at a menial and tedious data entry task for oh, you don't know, maybe 5 or so hours.

And what did you do when you were done?

Well, first you watched 24 of course.

But then and since then until now, you have been back at your computer, well, computers, since you are the very proud owner of an Apple G4 Powerbook which they may remember you mentioning before.

Which brings you to your point. The optical drive in your powerbook has decided not to work anymore. You don't know why, and in all honesty you just want to cry about it. But, you will persevere and try to continue functioning.

Unfortunately, the capitalist beast wants nothing more than to rape your pretty and vulnerable poor little college student ass. And so you will have to pay USD~350 to get it fixed.

Fuck. You're so addicted.

Note to self.

2005-05-09T23:57:00.000-07:00

You're watching tv and there was a commercial for the show Spin City. The main character's gf and he are kissing and she stops, looks at him and says:

"Do you realize we forgot to have sex tonight?"

That is so friggin' awesome. Forget for a moment that it is complete fantasy, written by people more persuasive than you purely for sexual emotive effect. You must hear that from a girl at some point in your life. You must.

Disturbed.

2005-05-08T23:17:00.000-07:00

You're happy to see that movies like Mysterious Skin are still out there and being made. It's rare to see an NC-17 rated movie. Of course you're not actually going to see this one; you're just glad hollywood hasn't completely taken over yet.

You just finished watching The Corporation; now you're angry and pissed. It was a great documentary and you think it is mandatory viewing.

That is all, carry on.

OMFG!

2005-05-08T18:16:00.000-07:00

This makes everything else seem trivial. You are now back to GAMECON 1.

Burnout for the PSP? Brilliant!!

Double-plus fucking good!

Outstanding!

You should be quiet now.

What are you doing right now?

2005-05-08T15:35:00.000-07:00

You are wondering whether or not to take a screenshot or just list the various things you're currently working on. Well some of the things aren't actually on your desktop so you'll just list them out.

You currently have Safari open with 5 tabs. You're reading the latest soccer news on Soccernet (Yay Arsenal!), browsing books at Amazon, chatting on Adium, organizing your del.icio.us bookmarks, catching up with the news in NetNewsWire, you have a text editor open to capture random thoughts, you're listening to music, watching tv and oh yeah, you're writing this.

And thus you think you have Nerd Attention Deficit Disorder.

You wonder what they're doing right now.

Slowly.

2005-05-08T04:54:00.000-07:00

You can't remember exactly what it was that you wanted to post about. Fuck it.

You'd like to apologize for the slow with which the site seems to be loading lately. You have yet to pin down the cause and are actually considering paying for some hosting for this crap but you aren't sure. You wonder what they think. You wonder if you have many readers at all.

Oh yeah, now you remember.

You were thinking about things today. About yourself for a change. Introspection you think they call it.

...

Wow. You completely forgot about this post. You'll work on it tomorrow.

love you guys.

dp

And music.

2005-05-08T02:44:00.000-07:00

You rolled some more mp3's that you had lying around into the main library. You had to fix-up the id3 tags and filenames before you imported them.

They can check out your mp3 library here.

Sightings.

2005-05-08T01:46:00.000-07:00

As seen in the June issue of Stuff magazine:

"One of the more famed see-through spirits, the Goose has a straightforward, clean and pure taste. It's almost like drinking water from a babbling brook...except we call it our happy brook and shoot trespassers on sight."

Now that's what the fuck you're saying.

One.

Quickly.

2005-05-07T22:08:00.000-07:00

You love BitTorrent. You want it to have your babies. Especially when you use the Azureus client.

You think that few things in life are better than sex. And that this isn't one of them. But it's pretty high up there and you definitely think they should try it.

Over and out.

dp

Berserker

2005-05-04T21:38:00.000-07:00

Invalidating your feelings is the worst thing someone can do to you; in your humble opinion. It makes you want to wrap your hands around their neck and squeeze.

You can't stand arguing with people who invalidate your feelings, make assumptions about you and draw conclusions from them, and talk over you rather than listen.

You have no healthy outlets for your anger in this place. You must move out soon.

Why?

2005-05-04T17:34:00.000-07:00

Why do I have all the problems? Why is it always me with the problem?

And why does everyone always give a fuck? Why do people always give a shit about my feelings? Why do they say things and do things because they think they'll make me feel better? I wish everybody would just leave me the fuck alone.

This has nothing to do with anything. Maybe its the Wellbutrin talking.

Sod off.

Noooooooooooo...

2005-05-04T16:50:00.000-07:00

Dammit!!

The only car to ever give you wet dreams.

You will have it. Ah, yes. You will have it.

Sometimes you actually like driving.

2005-05-04T15:08:00.000-07:00

You love it when the freeway opens her lanes to you like a high-school cheerleader spreading her legs under the bleachers after the big game. You entered 880 at 80 mph and made a quadruple-lane change into the carpool lane. 30 seconds later you made a double lane change out of the carpool lane and then another one back into the carpool lane at 90 mph to get around some slower moving traffic. Then you just blasted all the way home. ~ 11 miles, maybe?

Total time from school to home: 6 minutes.
Average speed: ~ 80 mph.

Fuck it. We love speed.

d, and then some.

At random.

2005-05-04T02:12:00.000-07:00

•The brain/mind is not a computer. It is completely incapable of parallel processing. "Multi-tasking" is an illusion created by rapidly switching the focus of your attention.

•Now two people in your life have commented on your body. They both think you need to "bulk up." WTF? Being 144 lbs. of pure muscle isn't completely fucking awesome!?

Do you really care about these people? Yes.
So their opinion matters? Yes.
Do you think they're jealous? Yes.
What are you going to do then? Abso-fucking-lutely nothing.

•We think you like her. Don't blush. Stop. She's only 20. You should really, really leave her alone...or talk to her. Ass.

•If people knew how infrequently others thought about them they wouldn't worry about it so much.

•Linkage:

The cutest thing ever. Rose this is for you. (Update: This link is getting hit fucked-in-the-ass hard. So its really slow.)

Zombies are fucking real!?

Okay. Enough, you're fuckin retarded d.

And now back to our regularly scheduled program.

2005-05-04T00:45:00.000-07:00

You're so tired of writing about the ups and the downs of recent events. Good or bad, either way you just want it to be settled. It's time to move forward.

So, its a pretty common argument encouraging the use of condoms that having unprotected sex with someone is like having sex with all of the people they had sex with.

Thus it was that something occured to you. Say you gave the business to some chick. You split up. Then she goes and shakes her apple at some other dude. Then he humps some chick. Then you shag that chick.

You will have fucked yourself. Maybe even several times.

You are depraved. Now finish your homework bitch.