This is a gas station for chrissake!

So you had a couple interesting run-ins at the gas station this evening.

Your unspoken thoughts appear in italics. Event accounts edited for brevity.

Encounter the first:

A cute girl about 20 approaches...

Her: Excuse me, what kinda cologne do you wear?
You: Huh? Oh, I don't wear cologne.
Her: Never?
You: Nuh-uh. My natural smell is good enough.
Her: You sure?
You: ...
Her: *Blushing* Uh...well (at this point you tune her out because she's speaking salesese)...can I show you some samples?
You: No.
Her: While you pump gas?
You: Sure. (Wait wha? Pump? What did you just agree to?) *She runs off*
Her: This one is...(She said some shit you don't remember.)...can I put some on you?

...

So you let her--because she was cute--and then she asked you to buy some and...

You: No. I told you I don't wear cologne. But that was a good performance, if I wore cologne I would have bought some.

She leaves. Then this old drunk holding a gas can approaches.

Encounter the second:

Him: Can I have some gas?
You: No. I spent all my money.
Him: ...
Him: That's a nice car.
You: It's alright, it's kind of a piece of shit.
Him: What's wrong with it?
You: Well, it needs some body work. And, as you can see, some paint over here...and here.
Him: You don't see to many of these around. You see a lot of those...um...those...
You: El Caminos? Chevys?
Him: Yeah, you see a lot of those around these days.
You: Yeah, everybody has those these days.
Him: But you don't see to many of these around anymore.
You: *Pulls out keys* Well, I gotta to go to work now.
Him: These are probably collectors items now. They're kinda rare.
You: Yeah dude. Look, I gotta run, I gotta go to work now. Alright man.

Then you got in your car and left. It's a gas station for christ's sake!

What the fuck.