How's the weather over there?

Monday, April 03, 2006

An Open Letter to the Hydrologic Cycle

Dearest Hydrologic Cycle,

We can fully understand and relate to the regular visits to the Bay Area. We like it too and we think its a nice place. However we are finding that more and more frequently the nature of your visits and their duration is a bit unwelcome considering that they are wholly unannounced and, to be perfectly honest, longer than they should be.

Now let us be clear. This is not to say that we don't understand the need for evaporation; and sublimation, condensation and advection. We like clouds. We like the funny shapes they make and we like laying in grassy fields with those special people on a sunny spring day and naming all of the things we see. Of course we can't these days, not with all of the attention we have been giving to you; but she'll understand.

It's just...it's just...the precipitation. Why all the precipitation? And why so much here precious? We truly love you. We do. And all of the work you do for us. We know it's a lot and we fully appreciate that without you we wouldn't be able to sustain life. But c'mon, this isn't Seattle for fuck's sake.

We're just exasperated that's all. And there is only so much we can take. You're really nice. And you smell good. And you can be funny sometimes. But really--we love you but we're not in love with you.

And we just think that...well...you know...all good things must come to an end. We've had a good run. We truly have. But it really is time for us to start seeing other people. It's for the best. You'll thank us. And months from now, when enough time has passed, and we see each other again we'll look back on this and laugh.

Really we will.

It's not you. It's us.

With love,

dp and his robotic ninja monkey army

PS. We are watching you. You are not safe here.

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