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Thursday, March 17, 2005

20 Straight Years of Schooling...

You have so much to write about that you have no idea what to write about.

First things first. You had your final in Compiler Design today. It was exactly like what you always imagined sodomy would feel like. To put that in context, there were 30 multiple choice questions making up part one of the exam. Each had 5 answers to choose from. The correct answer for each question being 0 or more of the 5 given answers.

To clarify; given 5 switches each with an "on" position and an "off" position, and the correct positioning of these switches being a combination of "on" or "off," there are 32 possiblilities for the correct position. Multiply that by 30 questions and they start to get the picture. 960 possibilities. Given the need for 30 answers right or wrong that leaves 930 possibilities for failure, assuming the correct answers were chosen. What percentage of the total possible are correct? They might ask. Well, my friend, that's 3.

Yes, they read that right, 3. 3% of the total possible answer combinations are correct. In your humble opinion that's indicative of a test design intent on rendering failure.

This is exactly why you don't gamble. The house always wins. Always.

(You'd, at this point, like to let them know that they should feel free to correct your combinatorics if any mistakes have been made.)

Moving on, you have one more final to go. This one is in your Analysis II class. You thought about this the other day and found something interesting. You have had 10 girlfriends over the last 7 years. The most recent of which lasted for 4 years. That means that you had 9 in the space of 3 years, or 3 per year. Given 12 months per year that's 1 girlfriend every 4 months. Considering that there are 3 months in an academic quarter and that you have been taking courses from your Analysis professor for 4 quarters (2 quarters of Differential Equations, 2 of Analysis), that means that you have spent an entire year with him.

To put that in context, that means that you have spent more time with this particular professor studying mathematics than you have with 90% of your ex-girlfriends; and you had sex with two of them. Wow. Are you not having enough sex/girlfriends or are you as Ad, your left hand man, puts it "spending way to much time thinking about it." and "You need to get laid, bro." ?

Hmm...So many questions. So little desire to answer them.

The worst part of all of this is that you can't go out and get completely sodding smashed beacuse you have that Anal. 2 final today. And you can't go out tonight either because you have to go to the lab first thing in the morning tomorrow and get tests done prior to your bi-annual physical. Then you have to go to The North Face and buy some new gear, and to your opthamalogist's at 2:30p for full diagnostics since your Mom has glaucoma.

Fucking joy. Absolute, proper, fucking joy.

Currently on iTunes: "Winners and Losers" from "Sex, Love and Rock'n'Roll" by Social Distortion.


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